Not actually violent. I've just got a thing for violent and mouthy heroes that stab Dick Angels in the face and/or save the world.

Also for John McClane. Who'd TOTALLY stab an Angel in the face if it started acting a dick.

And for Captain America, who would stab you, but only if his shield wasn't handy. Otherwise all he's got for you is vibranium to the face. He's also mouthy, so a pretty well put together hero.

Posts tagged perfection.

capyrancher:

Up yo.

Original art by http://mckelvie.tumblr.com/

anursingdegreeinfeelings:

“When I was informed that I had been name People’s Magazine’s Sexiest Man of the Year—Mustache Edition, I steeled my jaw and slowly exhaled through my flared nostrils into the very lip-thicket that had gotten me into this mess in the first place.” -Nick Offerman 

“This news pleased me little. I crushed the iPhone in my hand into dust, this despite the hardy White Oak case I had painstakingly carved for it. Why can no one see what a nightmare these whiskers make of my life? Soon after I learned of this “honor,” my doorbell rang. Mr. Tom Selleck had sent over an enormous congratulatory yak, smoking a cigar. Impressive, Tom, but misguided. Sam Eliott sent me a text that read, “I reckon you et the bar this time, pard,” whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean. And Burt Reynolds sent me a Corvette with the words, ”All you, Baby!” painted on the trunk. You son a of bitch. Pardon me, as I count to 10…8.9.10. All right. Look. I can’t begin to describe my frustration at receiving accolades for this facial bane. My mustache! You think it’s a good time, seeing a woman countenance my visage and swoon, only to fall beneath the crushing wheels of a Sunset Strip Hummer? Wrong. When I’m standing in line at the bank, and it’s held up by six men with clown masks and AK-47s, do you think it’s a fun chuckle when everyone turns expectantly to me, assuming somehow that my insanely lush mustache will kickass all of us to safety? It’s not a chuckle, People, not by a long shot. Those dead clowns are most certainly not chuckling. When a press junket for Parks and Recreation took me overseas to Valhalla, this royal Norsemen, Odin, said he wanted to reward me for the power of my facial bear. Okay, fine. He handed me some crappy, little sledgehammer and said, “Wield it justly.” His kid Thor (of course his name was Thor) comes over and starts crying at my feet, mewling something over and over that sounded like “mjolnir, my mjolnir…” I picked him up and lightly bludgeoned him with the hammer and he completely lost it. Full-on tantrum. It was a tiny, little tap, seriously, he was being a total baby. Odin said, “My son fills me with shame. I have only ever wanted him to display facial hairs half as magnificent as those upon your mouth, but, alas, he remains practically clean-shaven. Why, he’s no more man than Hawkeye,” whom I’m assuming is a Norwegian musician, like ABBA? It was mighty awkward is what it was. They certainly do things differently in Europe. Anyway. My point is, simply, that I appreciate the gesture, but this mustache does not strike me as “sexy” in anyway. It strikes me as a pain in my hairy ass. Where’s my trophy for that? And finally, Tom Selleck, I thank you for the yak. It is robust, and I will consume it.”

(via shelbot2000)

hoursago:

and clint finally got to beat the living shit out of loki

awwwwwwwwww yiiiiisssssssssssssssssssss #GoHawkeyeGO

(via gingerhaze)

the-crystalmage:

Whenever I see this, I always like to think that Stan is thanking Chris for being the best Steve Rogers he could ever have hoped for.

(via crystalmage)

chibibun:

minty-burps:

LEGOLAS YOU ARE THE FATHER

YEAR OF THE ARCHER

(via tgda)

People might just need a little old-fashioned.

(via cameronfryes)

Thor. Tony sees you touching his man. He doesn’t like it. 

(via tellerings)

#and if tony hurts steve, coulson will taze him and watch supernanny while he drools into the carpet

You got that right. No one hurts Steve. Not even Tony.

(via crystalmage)

Supernatural, Doctor Who, and Firefly are all sitting in a bar. →

thegestianpoet:

Doctor Who: “I’ve got a devoted fanbase, plus a huge insurgence of new fans! I’ll be on the air forever! Even though I can be a dick sometimes, people still love me!”

Supernatural: “Damn, you have it easy. I’ve been teetering on the edge for a while now. I make people really emotional…it’s probably because I’m so hot.”

Firefly: “Hey, fuck you guys! At least you’re still around!”

Doctor Who: “Whoa, everyone calm down! Not cool. There must be something we can agree on!”

(Mark Sheppard walks into the bar and sits down between Supernatural and Doctor Who)

Mark Sheppard: Orgy, anyone?

Just made a very high-pitched and unstoppable noise/giggle. Then blushed with the visual that sprang to mind. Glad for the first time that I live alone. #THIS #PLEASEGODPLEASE

super-scout:

assguard:

avali:

Daily practice paint: Thor and Tony Stark having bro times at the party from our RP stuff. :>

Sorry Sol, I know you wanted the brawl, but that will have to wait for a day where I am more awake and able to draw fighting poses. Let this hold you over untill then!<3

they are the best drinking buddies. sharing stories about steve and loki

drinking bros!

LOL “sharing stories about Steve and Loki” YOU BET THEY ARE. #BestDrinkingBrosEVER #MakinTheirAncestorsProud

(via crystalmage)